Check your pants. Man, here is the GNOMONITORE
WHAT THE FUSS
IS ABOUT? Initially Gnomonitore is the usual mono dynamic you can
get by breaking any of the voice activated toy (pic. one) or even plug the
cable into one you were impressed by the design (pic. two).
FOR WHAT THIS FUSS? Perfect goodie. Use two or three gnomonitores
in the acoustic snake or just do it in the space with a special microphone
or prepared piezo. Get the sound like my cat is taking a bath through the
pillow.
BEWARE: Use headphones to avoid the inevitable feedback.
Youll achieve feedback by less frantic method. Should never stick gnomonitores
on the piezo, though it suggests itself, keep as more empty space between
as possible. Ill also suggest to have the same gnome amplifier in a a pack
(i.e the headphone one).
HISTORY: Tea Gum used gnomonitores when they were in a christmass
dwarf amplua (with recommendations to the sound guys to behave themselves
like a gnome you know this trick with one furcoat for two persons then
got drafted). Also you can hear my very own gnomonitore sound system on several
microcassette projects such as tony hillfinger.
SOUND
FUTURE PLANS: What will happen if I plug LED wires into monitor
with usual ones?
I
felt in love with the BUBENCHIKOVs CLANDESTINO
WHAT
THE FUSS IS ABOUT? Bubenchikovs clandestino is the theremin imitator
device out of the Russian spareroom doorbell. Take off the lid and look for
the the hidden pitch (cats pajama!) and memory for 20 trivial melodies (kalinkamalinka,
niespatchanka)
FOR WHAT THIS FUSS? You can operate with all the warp specters,
from tinny hiss to sudden bursts of electronic gilbertnsullivan. Cut them
as hell. Well, activation of the pitch is obtained by the usual screwdriver
for strong control , or by hand like theremin for havoc
BEWARE: Have no slightest idea if this object has same standart
in your habitant.
HISTORY: As if sometimes it sound like a human being fistfucking,
we use to call it in the name of Bubenchikov, the lord of lubock porno here
in St Pete
SOUND
FUTURE PLANS: repair, repair, repair
DRYNDA,
the legend
WHAT
THE FUSS IS ABOUT? Actually what we call drynda is amplified strings-adorned
wooddesk man practicing instead of ordinary guitar section to somehow imitate
the rockband. In our case it varies from ordinary size with 6-5th string to
bass or alto with one-inch spring.
HOW TO USE: Tea Man know-how is to throw it instead of usual
glissando. You could also gallant with distortion or have a penny gaff beating
yourselves or the audience according to your sexual orientation. Best thing
to protect yourself from public misunderstanding.
IMITATING THE ROCK BAND: You can make a wonderful dryndas of
your father old stuff guitar and give it another life.
BEWARE: Doesnt work with sticking piezo. At least with the
string drynda.
FUTURE PLANS: Now we investigate a metal drynda
PERDELKA (THE POO-TUBE)
WHAT THE POO IS ABOUT? About nothing but the best invention ever. They are at least 3 figured. Metal poo-tube (pic.one) made out of the part of ceiling lamp which protect the cable and differs from the plastic poo tube (pic.two) by more scilfull method. Plastic tool is nothing but a plastic bottle (baklazhka) at its barmitsvach. Obtaining plastic tool you are free to plick the tube as you wish to give the sound more colours. Also metal tube gives you the pain in your lips the first time(s) you play. Actually the jack-of-a-pinch of the metal tube is that it has less harmonic characteristics, anyway you are able to get the Donald duck paragon in both cases as if you fart into the boiling kettle but free and easy at show conditions.
The main
princip scheme is based on labiodental methoda. Matter-of-course you need years
to make an cats asshole by lips before you start to masticate (or just blow).
Just make scat or inhale if you are know-nothing bumpking.
HANDS: one is for holding the poo-tube, by the second you operate
with the sound i.e. flap the hole.
Plastic
poo-tubes have more soft and loud sound, like fat arse. Dimensions of plastic
ones more verified than metal (as bottles) and you have big possibilities for
improvisation. We advise to start with plastic. You can move another bottle
inside poo to get light phaser-like effect.
FUTURE PLANS: Some BDSM-addicted use glass poos
more soon!